SPOILERS
Alan Rickman and Bruce Willis brought AK-47s and choppers to a footwear-optional holiday party. On the guest list—a bunch of FBI agents and local police who left their brains back at the station. But not to worry—John McClane, like any decent cowboy, came bearing his wits and morbid sense of humor to take down those who weren’t invited.
Aside from being handy with a gun, John is a resourceful hero who rarely misses his mark. He knows how to improvise, especially with props that come bloodied, bullet-riddled, and without a pulse. A dead guy is bedecked in a festive hat to rile his bandit buddies because while Santa is usually full of Christmas cheer, a cowboy is a man of mischief. In another scene, John launches a second corpse at a runaway cop car in a final attempt to galvanize his clueless, donut-gorging, goose-chasing fellow officers. He then comes face to face with Hans Gruber, the leader of this terrorist group, who arrives empty-handed to a gun fight, but Mr. Cowboy is kind enough to lend him his. There’s nothing in the chamber, of course, but a cowboy’s flair for the dramatic makes him the master of a compelling bluff. At the end of the film, the classic western stand-off shows John with a loaded gun concealed behind his back, which he draws before his assailants have time to fire theirs. A cowboy might not amount to much without his toys, but it’s his speed and style that are meaningful hallmarks of this archetype. John is the lone rogue who’s forced to rely solely upon himself—his skill, his intelligence—because he’s cast out by his own. The irony of mistaking a fellow officer for a no-nothing bartender as law enforcement actively undermines John’s heroism by catering to the threat—WILD. I mean, who let these clowns out of the academy? In Die Hard, the only thing more ridiculous, more dangerous than a badge with a deadly weapon is a news reporter with a camera!
8/10 I don’t understand how there’s any debate over whether or not this is a Christmas film. It’s a Christmas movie about the worst holiday party ever that has cops, bandits, and cowboys! The writing is fun, and Willis’s performance is what makes the film such a success.
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